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The phone rings and the lady of the house answers, 'Hello.'

'Mrs. Anderson, please.'


'Mrs. Anderson, this is Doctor Jones at Saint Agnes Laboratory. When your husband's doctor sent his biopsy to the lab last week, a biopsy from another Mr. Anderson arrived as well. We are now uncertain which one belongs to your husband. Frankly, either way the results are not too good.'

'What do you mean?' Mrs. Anderson asks nervously.

'Well, one of the specimens tested positive for Alzheimer's and the other one tested positive for HIV. We can't tell which is which.'

'That's dreadful! Can you do the test again?' questioned Mrs. Anderson.

'Normally we can, but Discovery will only pay for these expensive tests one time.'

'Well, what am I supposed to do now?'

'The folks at Discovery recommend that you drop your husband off somewhere in the middle of town - If he finds his way home, don't sleep with him.’
One fish can change it all.....
Nice one Month doubt you thought of this whilst studying....uum :blue-badgrin: :blue-badgrin:
"I don't exagerate...I think big!"
haha....shame thats horrible :blue-lol: :blue-lol: :blue-lol:
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Heard about the guy lying on the beach sun bathing? He was wearing nothing but a cap over his private parts. An ugly woman walks past and remarks "If you were any sort of a gentlememan you would lift your hat to a lady". He replied "If you were any sort of a lady, the hat would lift itself!" :blue-badgrin: :blue-badgrin: :blue-badgrin:
Real men smoke Shimano's!
A little boy about 12 years old is walking down the street dragging a flattened frog on a string behind him. He came up to the doorstep of 'a house of ill repute' and knocked on the door.

When the Madam answered it, she saw the little boy and asked what he wanted.

He said, 'I want to have sex with one of the women inside. I have the money to buy it, and I'm not leaving until I get it.

The Madam figured, why not, so she told him to come in. Once in, she told him to pick any of the girls he liked. He asked, 'Do any of the girls have any diseases?'

Of course the Madam said 'No'.

The boy said, 'I heard all the men talking about having to get shots after making love with Amber - THAT'S the girl I want.'

Since the little boy was so adamant and had the money to pay for it, the Madam told him to go to the first room on the right.

He headed down the hall dragging the squashed frog behind him. Ten minutes later he came back, still dragging the frog, paid the Madam, and headed out the door..

The Madam stopped him and asked, 'Why did you pick the only girl in the place with a disease, instead of one of the others?'

He said, 'Well, if you must know, tonight when I get home, my parents are going out to a restaurant to eat, leaving me at home with a baby-sitter.

After they leave, my baby-sitter will have sex with me because she just happens to be very fond of cute little boys. She will then get the disease that I just caught. When Mum and Dad get back, Dad will take the baby-sitter home. On the way, he'll give her one in the car and he'll catch the disease.

Then when Dad gets home from the baby-sitter's, he and Mum will go to bed and have sex, and Mum will catch it.

In the morning when Dad goes to work, the Milkman will deliver the milk, have a quickie with Mum and catch the disease, and HE'S the prick who ran over my FROG!'
Aggg no! You are kiding me...

All of that just to get the guy that ran over his frog!

Hahahahaha... Shame...
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There was a chicken and a horse playing together in a barnyard.
Suddenly the horse falls into a pit. He yells to the chicken, "Go get the farmer, save me, save me!!!!"

The chicken goes looking for the farmer but can't find him. So he gets the farmer's Golf V GTi and drives it over to the mud pit, lassos the horse, ties it to the car and pulls him out.
The Horse says, "Thank you, Thank you, I owe you my life." Then a couple days later they're playing again and this time the chicken falls into the mud pit and the chicken says, "Help me Help me!!! Go get the farmer!!!"
So the horse says, "No! No! No!, I think I can get you." The Horse stretches across the mud pit and tells the chicken, "Grab onto my willy." The chicken grabs on, the horse stretches back, and the horse saves the chickens' life.
So what's the moral of the story?????

If you have a willy the size of a horse then you don't need a Golf V GTi to pick up
Sometimes the fishing is so bad not even the liars catch anything!!!!
I dont drive a Golf V Gti......... :blue-badgrin: :blue-lol:
"I don't exagerate...I think big!"
that's only cause you would not fit in one!!!! :blue-badgrin: :blue-badgrin: :blue-lol:
Sometimes the fishing is so bad not even the liars catch anything!!!!
bassmaster Wrote:that's only cause you would not fit in one!!!! :blue-badgrin: :blue-badgrin: :blue-lol:


dirty joke though...nice BM... :blue-shock:
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Thats brilliant... ha ha ha ha.... :blue-lol:
Ok jiddles, whats brilliant...the joke or bm's sarkey replay...... :blue-biggrin: ...carefull...... :blue-badgrin: :blue-biggrin:
"I don't exagerate...I think big!"
Marj...your in the kak girl for laughing.....wait....what goes around comes around......nice one...... and I thought you were my friend..... :blue-biggrin: :blue-biggrin:
"I don't exagerate...I think big!"

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