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Another Friday Funny

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For the animal lovers out there


Allan, Steve?
FUNNY - FUNNY - FUNNY - Gr8 LOL. :eusa_clap:
I had a good laugh. Allan hahaha.
Dear Rugby Supporters,

Once again the matter of politics in sport has reared its ugly head with the new rules for next year announced by the SARB for the Currie Cup.

Effective 1 January 2014 the system prescribes the following non-negotiable quotas:

· Western Province must include at least 5 coloured players.

· The Sharks must include 5 Indians.

· The Cheetahs 5 English-speaking players.

· The Lions at least 5 Afrikaans-speaking players.

· The Blue Bulls at least 5 rugby players.

It's going to be a tough season!
Trevor the farmer was in the fertilised egg business. He had several hundred young layers (hens), called 'pullets' and eight or ten roosters, whose job was to fertilise the eggs.

The farmer kept records and any rooster that didn't perform went into the soup pot and was replaced.

It took an awful lot of his time so he bought a set of tiny bells and attached them to his roosters.

Each bell had a different tone so Trevor could tell from a distance, which rooster was performing.

Now he could sit on the porch and fill out an efficiency report simply by listening to the bells.

The farmer's favourite rooster was old Jacob, and a very fine specimen he was too.

But on this particular morning Trevor noticed that old Jacob's bell hadn't rung at all!

Trevor went to investigate. The other roosters were chasing pullets, bells-a-ringing.

The pullets, hearing the roosters coming, would run for cover.

But to farmer Trevor's amazement, Jacob had his bell in his beak, so it couldn't ring. He'd sneak up on a pullet, do his job and walk on to the next one.

Trevor was so proud of Jacob, he entered him in the Polokwane Country Fair and Jacob became an overnight sensation among the judges.

The result was the judges not only awarded Jacob the No Bell Piece Prize but they also awarded him the Pullet Surprise as well.

Clearly Jacob was a Pulletician in the making: Who else but a Pulletician could figure out how to win two of the most highly coveted awards on our planet by being the best at sneaking up on the populace and screwing them when they weren't paying attention.

Do you perhaps know of a Pulletician called Jacob?

Rip - can you fix it for me? done
Distinction between Guts and Balls

To those of you who are nit-pickers about the meaning of words:
There is a medical distinction between Guts and Balls. We've all
Heard about people having Guts or Balls, but do you really know
The difference between them?

In an effort to keep you informed, here are the definitions:

GUTS - is arriving home late, after a night out with the guys, being
Met by your wife with a broom, and having the Guts to ask, Are
You still cleaning, or are you flying somewhere?

BALLS - is coming home late after a night out with the guys,
Smelling of perfume and beer, with lipstick on your collar, and
Slapping your wife on the butt and having the Balls to say,
You're next, Chubby.

I hope this clears up any confusion on the definitions.

Medically speaking, there is no difference in the outcome.

Both result in instant death.
bek jou clown
My wife is taking Valentine's day seriously this year - she has hidden my 9mm and removed all the bathroom doors already.
A new witness in the Pistorius case has come forward, saying that on the night of the murder, he saw a sawn off man carrying a shotgun.........
See what happens when you tell everybody about your favourite fishing spot!
This guy takes his new boat down to Cape from Jo’burg for a fishing trip.
On his way back with the boat, his 4x4 breaks down around Beaufort West.
He tries all he can but the 4x4 just doesn't want to go any more.
He tries his cell - no reception. After standing for about 4 hours without any cars going past, he suddenly realises that the boat has got a radio. Just maybe he is lucky and there is someone listening on the emergency channel.
So he hops onto the boat, connects the battery and starts calling – ‘mayday, mayday’.
Just as he almost gives up hope there's this faint voice coming over the air.....
‘State your position meneer’.....
This chap looks at his boat GPS and gives his position over the radio.
Long silence...then this voice comes over the air again.
‘Jislaaik meneer, djy moes die land met 'n moerse spoed geslat het !
[Image: 20160425%20All%20Sponsors%20Footer.png]
Some "manly" valentines day gifts....

[Image: Valentines-Day-lure.jpg]

[Image: Valentines-Day-lure--2.jpg]

[Image: Valentines-Day-lure--3.jpg]

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